How to Keep Your Man and Protect Your Household

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heartrose When I was a young lady, the women who taught me magic also taught me how to serve my community by protecting people’s households and helping women to keep their men faithful or at least make sure they returned home safely.  As grateful as I am to have been given these gifts, I learned the hard way to take this advice for myself, and lost my first fiance and later my first husband due to youthful arrogance and wishing to be “fair”.

But my dears, all is fair in love.

I let my ego get in the way of flowing with Nature when it came to matters of the heart.  When I pushed my ego out of the way and began to take charge of my home, lo and behold, things improved for me.  Understand that love is one thing, and commitment is another.  Men can love fifty women, but they commit only to the ones who dominate them.  Commitment is a matter of domination, and though your man should feel free, he should not actually be free.

I will warn you that this is a very long article with lots of information.  It may be too much to take in at one time, so definitely bookmark this page and return to it from time to time.  You’ll want to get all of this.  I also add tips from time to time when I think of them or something reminds me of some wisdom that needs to be passed to others on the subject.  If you have any tips from your family, or if you have any questions or opinions about what is here, feel free to comment.  Young ladies need this advice, so don’t be stingy.  Share it.  Oshun will bless you for spreading more joy and love in the world.  🙂


If you are engaged, married, or your man has at least spoken of marriage, this is the signal to begin a protection regime.  The first priority in this is to be square with your protection deities.  You do not have to suddenly become a priestess, but you should at least consult clergy or a root worker about giving scheduled offerings to your protection and marriage deities.  This is especially important if you used any magic to gain the commitment.

For efficiency, many people do an offering to Eshu (or their traditional Gate Keeper) just before they begin any protection projects, and then a yearly maintenance offering.  Wealthy people can do this every three to six months, but most people in my tradition go for the yearly offering in June for Eshu day.  Some who are rootworkers do this for their own homes on New Years day.  This adds power to your protection efforts.  Then your intent calls power from the energy of your offerings without having to be daily observant like a priestess or root worker.

The Ways of Oshun

You should also keep the ways of Oshun, the west African deity of love, prosperity, and bonding and domination.  In a nutshell, this means:

  • Be clean and well groomed and optimize your beauty in any way that does not threaten your health, future beauty, or integrity, or violate a taboo that you have sworn to.  Try to look your best at all times possible.  Even your housedresses and pajamas should be pretty.  If you don’t have much money, then get handy with the needle, or enlist the help of friends.  Keep your kids looking nice too, but don’t prevent them from playing outside and getting dirty.  Kids should be joyful.
  • Dance.  Dancing glorifies Oshun and it is good exercise.  Express your feminine energy and make it move the world around you to give you blessings.
  • Keep a clean home.  This is especially important in the kitchen, bedroom, and bathroom.  Keep your bed a comfortable place that makes a man feel as if he is visiting a special sanctuary of comfort and pleasure.
  • Get rid of or repair all broken things.  Repair or discard all torn, ill fitting, or otherwise unwearable clothing.  If something is broken or unusable, but has high sentimental value, it should be placed in storage or given a proper honorable place.
  • Try to wear green, yellow, or blue, or some combination on Saturdays, because these are Oshun and many other love deities’ auspicious colors.
  • Be kind and generous towards beauty and fashion workers.
  • Eat citrus fruits and vegetables high in citric acid because these are sacred to Oshun.
  • Put out water for local stray animals and birds during the dry seasons, especially if there are parrots, crows, or ravens around.  You should also tend to the local cats and porcupines.
  • Never compromise or go along with things that would inhibit your man’s ability to do the three P’s of manhood: protect, provide, and penetrate.  If your man starts to waver into the postmodern darkness, simply do not approve.  You can be as crazy about this as suits your temperament and personality, but do not let him become useless.  An adherent or aware grateful woman of Oshun should demand that the men in her life reciprocate her nurturing and adding value and inspiration to their lives.  If they can’t or won’t then they are better off gone, but they won’t leave unless they are complete losers.  Even some losers will still return vowing to be better men, after life gets done whipping them for being useless.  You make sure they keep those vows.
  • Value your natural beauty despite the trends.  We were not all born to be models and actresses, and you can ruin yourself trying to keep up with fashion.  Don’t only think about how you look today.  Think of how you will look in 20 years.  Keeping your man requires keeping the essential things that were beautiful about you longer than the rest.  Beauty for the wifely type of woman is an endurance marathon, not a sprint.
  • Stay out of debt, or do all that you can to get out of debt.  Use debit cards if you don’t carry cash, and only use your credit cards for dire emergencies.  Do not marry someone who is in debt unless he gives you “first crack” authority over all the spending.  Men and women think differently and do not manage money the same.  Men are thinking about how much they have in the bank at the moment, but women think of what will happen if there is a war or disaster.  Lose any guilt around money when it comes to your household.  Though he is the king of the home and has the final word on things, you are the queen, and it is up to you to determine how the resources are going to be distributed.  There is no mine or his in a marriage, only ours.  A woman should still however, have a secret stash in case something goes wrong.  When you have enough money in savings to survive a year just on that, then you are at 0, not just when your account is at 0.  0 is actually closer to $20,000.

Stable, secure women who prioritize their household’s wellbeing, and are in control of things keep their man.  Unstable, insecure women who fear control don’t.  A man can be a flakey good for nothing, and if he has a tiny blip of manhood in him, be transformed by a woman who keeps the ways of Oshun.  If he doesn’t have it then there is nothing to do, but if he has even just a little bit, the fact that you are being the queen you are will make something move in him.  If you do that for him, then he will stay with you through all sorts of craziness in the world around him.

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