How to Keep Your Man and Protect Your Household

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Protective Home Items

Until you are actually cohabiting, his home is your territory even though you haven’t moved in.  So you need to give him some useful item as a sort of preview protection.  The best things are cobalt blue glasses and/or dishes.  Later, when you make a home together, you should try to get cobalt blue or blue and white things for serving guests.  If you are a witch and giving offerings to Eshu, Hecate, or another Gate Keeper regularly, you can use black and white, especially with zig-zag, crossing, and triangular patterns.  Most people should stick to the old fashioned blue though.

If you are not a witch, then your witchy friend or helper will tell you how to prepare the glass(es) or dish(es) so they are activated for protection.  It can be decorative or for actual use, but it should be there.

Another very important thing to remember is that areas where you receive guests should not have fine items that a person can focus on and desire overmuch.  You do not need to look cheap, but save the most valuable things for more private areas of your home.  The exception to this are things with built in evil eye protection, such as crystal with eye shapes or angular, reflective designs.  The priority for the guest areas of your home should be comfort and aesthetics, not extravagance.

Cobalt blue glasses are well known for protective properties.  They protect a home from the evil eye, which can severely damage relationships.  When the woman of the house has blessed them, they also protect from other women who may want to take your man.

While we’re talking about evil eye, there are many protective traditional items that work against it.  The Hamsa, Wadjet, Turkish eye, diamond shaped mirrors, angular cut crystal, and a host of other things help to ward off the evil eye.  Another important thing that dissipates evil eye is items that wish your guests luck.

Keep a dish of candy on your coffee table that guests are free to take.  Bonus if it has some good luck symbols.  If someone has done some kindness for you, serve them sweets or at least coffee or tea.  Try to not let anyone leave your home with empty hands or an empty belly.

Protective Foods

To protect your family and friends from ill will, you should use protective herbs and spices in your cooking, such as:

  • sea salt – protects from “vagrant” spirits
  • black pepper or long pepper – protects from misfortune
  • dill – protects from psychic/subtle psychological attacks, makes one more resistant to subliminal messages
  • cloves – attracts good fortune
  • nigella seeds – protection from ill health
  • oregano – protection from corrupt authorities
  • cayenne and other hot red peppers and chiles – protection from unwanted love spells/sexual attention
  • rose – generally protective
  • rosemary – generally protective

Pastries and breads in crossed, braided, and diamond shapes are also protective.  Say a short prayer of protection while making each crossing.  When you serve long pasta, braid three strands of it on purpose, with your prayers.  Other foods that enhance your household are:

  • basil – sacred to Ogun and helps men to stay useful and industrious, and also keeps the flow of money to your home
  • honey – brings sweetness and joy
  • grapes and raisins – makes hard times seem not as bad, gives endurance, and helps in recovery from workday stresses
  • garlic – protects from illness, reduces recovery time when it happens anyway, and repels energetic vampires
  • collard greens, kale, and the green cabbage leaves – very healthy, but also attracts money to your home
  • fenugreek – added with intent, helps to enhance loyalty and bonding
  • fennel – generally protective, but for some unknown reason, especially protective against interloping women

Many foods have life enhancing properties.  When you find things that work, use them often.  Also, never underestimate the value of cooking.  It is very important for a woman to know how to cook, and to do so regularly.  Some advice that I got from Arden Keren, my ile’s queen and senior child of Oshun is to have set meal times, and don’t worry too much about variety.  Figure out a simple, balanced meal that your man could eat every day and never tire of.  If he had a conscious mom, this is usually going to be something close to what she served him every day because she didn’t have time for no gourmet fancy pants mess.  Maybe it’ll be what he ate in the military.  Either way, consistency in food helps in keeping your man.  It makes him feel secure, and meets one of his basic primal needs that he would have to really consider carefully before giving it up.

Some examples of simple suppers are:

  • baked chicken, a potato, and cooked vegetables
  • schnitzel, ptitim, and a salad
  • beans and rice, and a salad
  • chicken stew or stir-fry, fufu, and cooked greens or salad
  • stir fry, noodles, and salad

Basically, keep it simple and steady.  This is also very economical.  I halved my grocery bill taking Arden’s advice.  Nobody is bored and nobody is complaining.  In fact, they are happier since whether or not they will like dinner is no longer a dice roll.  There are also no leftovers to spoil.

If your family does like leftovers or there is just no way to get everybody to the table at the same time every day, try make-ahead meals.  Refrigerate or freeze them.  This is what my husband’s mom used to do, and she kept her man until he died at a very old age.

Your Man’s Head Orisha

If you know your man’s head Orisha or the primary deity he embodies, this will help you in getting the most out of your relationship, and being the kind of Queen he needs you to be.  I will highlight a few of them here, so you can understand how you’ll need to manage them.  Some of what I’m about to say may make some men angry, but deep down they know this is the truth.

Eshu

Children of Eshu have both a child and an old man living in their psyche.  They often prefer older women because there is both their inner “Jebadiah” who still holds some love for their old wives in past incarnations, and the toddler who remembers the favorite auntie who gave them candy when mom wasn’t watching.  They also, for some reason, go for crazy and/or sexually promiscuous women.

So if you are older than your Eshu head, do not try to be younger, and do not try to be too nice or too sane.  You will bore him or scare him away.  You will need to guard him specifically from crazy and mercenary women.  Even if he is against it, require that he wear a wedding ring at all times.  You may want to opt for a titanium or silicone ring that he can wear at all times.  Bonus, order one from your root worker so they can enchant it before sending it to you.

Shango

Let me just put this out there.  There is no way to keep a child of Shango monogamous.  Period.  To attempt to do this too much will kill him.  Get used to the idea of sharing him, but if you are an alpha type female, you can at least be his primary partner or first priority.  To do this, you will need to behave like a Queen.  Do not attempt to regulate him overmuch, but do not submit to him in any way outside of the bedroom.  Do not show him any insecurity.  However, when you need something from him, speak up.  Be confident with him, and be explicit about what you want from him.  Use every method possible to keep him interested, using “layering” of magic.  Have everything from your laundry detergent to your perfume to the food you cook for him to your floor wash coated in love magic.

Ogun

Children of Ogun are very analytical, and sometimes overly rational.  Their temperaments can range from dedicated artist to nerdy engineer.  The usual Ogun head though, is a born mechanic, blacksmith, or someone else who works with his hands.  You will never starve with an aligned child of Ogun.  Their joy in life is being useful and building things.  Problems occur however, when they are misaligned.  So you will have a wonderful, consistent, loyal man so long as you mold and maintain him.  Keep him away from alcohol or drugs.  If he needs them to manage pain, then you should hold the supply.

It doesn’t take much witchcraft to hold a child of Ogun once he is bonded to you.  Just don’t betray him, and when he is down or depressed or going through a hard time, take care to remind him why he is working so hard.  You will need to make sure to keep your home protections strong, and use lots of peaceful home oils, scents, and floor washes.  Keep the ways of Oshun, and occasionally bathe yourself in blessed honey.

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